Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Good day.

Why, you wondered …


You probably wondered some time last week about why I have not written for so long. Let me tell you.
Thirteenth, the day of the result, every T.V. news channel west of the sea of Rhun declares that the dance of democracy n India is over. Everyone that is, but me. This is mainly because I have seen too many Lok Sabhas constituted not to know that what has ended is only the first movement, not the dance. The fun part has only just begun. Here is a day-by-day break up.


13.05.2004, Thursday.

The Verdict is in …


Nine O’ Clock Wednesday night, a seventy year old fellow got up from his chair in counting hall number fifty four in an obscure district in an equally obscure part of the Indian state of U.P. and said “Constituency to Mr. ABC of the BJP by XYZ votes”. So ended the greatest democratic exercise in history, and the most complex logistical procedure in the same- The Indian General Election and the counting of the votes.
The people have spoken, and this is what they said—
1. Congress+ 219
2. BJP+ 188
3. Left+ 64
4. The rest of the lot gets the rest of the lot.
In my personal opinion, the right party won, but the wrong man lost. Atal Bihari Vajpayee is the last of the true statesmen this country had. Sonia Gandhi could not stand up to him if she … forget it, she could never even come close.

14.05.2004, Friday.

Murder, Death, Kill, it's all happening on Dalal Street.


The markets showed their love for communists in general this day. The communists on the other hand, showed their sense of propriety. Neither was a pretty sight. The General Secretary of the CPI(M) promptly walks out and says that the divestment ministry is going to be scrapped. The markets decide that it’s a brilliant time to go vacationing. Leisure activity of choice? BUNGEE JUMPING.
300 point drop.

15.05.2004, 16.05.2004; Saturday, Sunday.
No great revelations, mainly because the communist politburo and later central committee was meting in order to decide whether to join the government or not. True to communist efficiency, this lasts two days. They decide not to join the government. Sonia Gandhi elected chief of the congress parliamentary party (or committee or something).

17.05.2004, Monday.

Black Monday, Slaughter on Dalal Street.


No one called this. This was the big one they all feared but didn’t see coming. Trading stopped thrice, and the maximum loss of the index was close to 800 points before the panic control measures took control. The net loss was something like 500 pts. Which is the highest ever.

Net loss of the order of 1012 (yes twelve) rupees


18.05.2004, Tuesday.

What the flying f*** is the madwoman doing??



Five o’ clock this (that is Tuesday) afternoon, the biggest bungler in Indian politics pulled off the most graceful yet pointlessly idiotic political maneuver in history. Sonia Gandhi refuses the post of prime minister. Forget the people, forget their mandate, she just … decides. The markets shoot up (I’m not trying to imply anything). Heaven only knows why she did it. Sacrifice ?? Please. That’s the biggest clod of shit I have ever heard, and I sat with Manav for a year. What the hell for? I mean, you need an object for a sacrifice. What is the goal, what does she mean to achieve by sacrificing the post ? I mean, this is the most nonsensical thing I have ever seen, and I have seen the ’91 government. Half her party is in a state of shock. Nobody knows what to do. You see, the congressmen are very good at plying second fiddle, especially to a Gandhi, but they have no real Prime Minister people.

One good thing does come out of this, Dr. Manmohan Singh gonna be new P.M.

19.05.2004, Wednesday

It’s almost over



Manmohan Singh, Doctor of Economics, former lecturer at the Delhi School of Economics, former Governor of the Reserve Bank of India, former finance minister, and the father of Liberalization in India, went , with Mrs. Gandhi to meet an old rocket scientist. The rocket scientist gave him a letter. A wax designed and manufactured only for this purpose sealed the letter. The seal belonged to the First Citizen of our nation. This letter effectively made him the most important and powerful man in India. It was the invitation to form a government.

Personally I think it turned out well, he’ll pick the minister tomorrow or thereafter, and there will finally be a government. With him as P.M., firstly the communist effect goes down, there is no infighting for the finance minister’s post. Everybody’s happy. Or so it seems. God bless us all (more like god help us all).


FOR THE REPUBLIC!!!!!
Jai Hind. (excuse the corniness)
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!

Monday, May 17, 2004

Good day.
Mista Purezident did something today that I honstly thought beneath him. He renamed his blog "Karan's Journal". Remind you of somthing?
It's sad to see this, it really is. I'm very disapponted.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Good day.

BY THUNDER


Yours truly, that is to say the supreme commander of the Bloodfist Klan is seriously displeased. Note – mother of all understatements. He is also of the opinion that the people at Hotwire (his internet service provider) take mathematics tuitions from Mista Puhrezident. This won’t strike most people as a very odd thing but then most people have not seen him in mathematics class. Anyway the point was that in my opinion the Hotwire people seem to think that five is a universal function; that is, not matter five what (that is hours, minutes, days, weeks) it all amounts to ten days. Mathematically.


5 (x) = 10 : x belongs to R



Hence he lack of blog updates. Frequency promised.

Tomorrow is counting day. Most of you won’t give a hoot in hell but this a very important day, the future of the country and all. Election results go up tomorrow in as much detail as time permits.

Vanilla Coke


SHITTIEST DRINK IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORY. A waste of both vanilla and coke, taste like a blend of throat medicine and snail urine. Not that I have ever tried snail urine.

Mid year teacher review



English-- Perfect (not to be confused with `good` or `nice`) HOD English. Boring, thick, slow as hell, always on the wrong side of the verge of anger. On a scale of –10 to 10? -5.

Computers-- Nice guy veeeerrrry methodical. I guess you have to be that for the BOARD.
On a scale of –10 to 10? 6.

Chemistry-- Now here is the perfect chemistry teacher as fast as I am concerned, he does numericals, definitions and theoretical problems all with due importance plus he finds time to make the class enjoyanble.
On a scale of –10 to 10? 7.

Mathematics-- I admit it. I was wrong about him. He is really good. I don’t know who it was who said that this fellow is strict or quick to anger, but whoever it was needs to have their cerebral cortex examined. Not only does he give loads of questions, he explains the lot, stops in all the right places (when the mathematics part gets boring) and keeps the class in good cheer.
On a scale of –10 to 10? 5.

Physics-- Here is one teacher who hasn’t the foggiest clue about what she is doing. I have half a mind to violate my own rule about unparliamentary language on this blog just so I could suitably describe her.
On a scale of –10 to 10? Negative infinity.


Cheerio then.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!
PS - Do snails even pee?