Good day.
The year is about to end and I thought I would give you all a special treat so, I decided to write this. Now many of you must have been wondering where I have been for so long. The truth is, it is humanly impossible to sit for a half hour in the same position and type nowadays, without freezing to death. Yet, I have got up and blessed you dregs of humanity with my wisdom. Such is the kindness and generosity of the The Supreme and Exalted leader of the Bloodfist Klan.

Life is not being very kind to us, the inhabitants of Delhi. Most of us have forgotten what the sun looked like and are shivering so f***ing badly that physicists are studying us, on the pretext that we are the best examples of Simple Harmonic Motion they could find.
I have basically stopped bathing, having last done so on boxing day (26th). It is therefore advised that anyone living in or around the city of New Delhi invest in gas masks. My mother has told me (in effect) to take a bath or hang myself. The neighbours agree. We live, people, in a cruel and heartless world.
On the other hand, I seem to have deleted my CD drivers by mistake. This, for the uninitiated, is bad news as now, When I put a CD in the PC, it don't recognize that there is anything there. Thus, I now have to be content with demos. Consider the CAS factor, and you realize the total lack of entertainment that I am experiencing. What is this world coming to????! This is like being in the stone age. Worse, like in Big C's house.
It's not like I haven't called the guy who fixes the PC. I HAVE. He has, for the last four days, been telling me that he will come in a half hour. He also has no sense of time. Either that or a really slow watch. For crying out loud, IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD??? No PC, no TV and Hindi soaps to boot. THE HORROR, THE HORROR. :-(
It has been a most interesting year, filled with new people, new ideas, new targets, and ROTATIONAL MECHANICS. But, if I've made it this far, I figure I'll go on.
Look out 2004, here comes Azgez.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE !!!

P.S. - Ladies, Gentlemen, Pakistanis, Yanks, and even Big C, Happy New Year.

Merry Christmas.
I have returned. Now, I know you are all really excited about this and probably are dancing and screaming with joy. How do I know? Well,what can I say, I'm psycho (or was that psychic???).

'Tis the season to be jolly, so I will not write anything about big C. However, I must inform you that I have only recently recovered from a major shock I received today. You see, we had a FIITJEE class today, and our substitute computer teacher told us, and I quote, " I don't know what you all find organic so hard, I mean all you have to do is mug up around 600 chemical equations". I hardly need to tell you what an effect that can have on a man's constitution. As for the teacher, I am prepared to to swear that no man has ever come closer to death as that chemistry teacher. I mean is he that stupid?? Does he not realise that telling a classfull of students such things might be hazardous to health? He's got dung for brains, that one.
One piece of excellent news is that school's out till 12th of next month. That means I don't have to deal with a certain somebody till next year. HURRAH.
Delhi's power problems will soon be a thing of the past. If ( the opposite of ) weather department says can be safely taken to be true, then it seems refrigerators will soon be rendered obsolete.
Da Reaper, Kuhrazeeman, Da Squirt and I are all assembling under one roof tomorrow. It is advised that you stay indoors all day, keep your radiation suits at the ready, keep all windows and shutters closed, DO NOT, under any circumstances, travel to Delhi and be careful, who knows what might happen?
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE !!!

P.S. - I know many of you will be heartbroken by this piece of news, but as school is out, my blog entries will now be few and far in between, as most of my writing material is derived from my day at school.

Good day.
A time comes, but it comes rarely in history, when the fool multitude, the uncouth masses (such as yourselves) get the singular pleasure and humongous honour of reading the writing (or, for that matter, typing) that issues forth from a hand that you know to be so much superior to your own. So it is that you are doubly blessed, for not only do you have the aforesaid honour, but you are also privy to the musings of the great and glorious Leader of the Bloodfist Klan, me.

Marshall Law has been declared by big C at that godforsaken place. The panic alarms have clearly been sounded. The state of alert is depth con three, and the cry for man battle stations is heard once three periods. The reason for the hue and cry the great and glorious school tradition of The Priya March. The evil will always attempt to suppress the good, and it will always fail. So it was with Mahatma Gandhi and his March to Dandi, and so it is with us and Priya. The first act of suppression has been the expulsion of six defenders of the cause ( class XII students) from the school because they went to Priya after school. 'After' being the operative word here.
She sent people with video cameras to priya!! I have personally seen the video and can swear to the fact that there were teachers literally rounding up students against their will and taking them to The Frozen Throne (Big C's office). The images of those poor souls lined up at the Throne will be engraved in my memory for ever. The forward guard, those that constituted the company that captured the students, had many an evil soul in it, including one who, I believe, deserves special mention. He is the one computer teacher that I honestly dislike. I will not mention his name but he has a mole on his nose that makes it look like he is doing a great balancing act with a football.
Also, chemistry class today was like the skies over Burgundy in WWI. If the planes were not made of paper, I could have sworn that Baron Manfred von Richtofen and his eleventh chaser squadron had, indeed, flown again. The teacher made the unforgivable error of leaving the extra assignment sheets unguarded.
We came in second in the computer quiz, but that is totally Da Geek's fault and I am, of course, blameless in the matter.
I believe Christmas is around the corner and St. Nicholas is expected any time. So to anyone and consequently everyone, Merry Christmas.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE !!!

P.S. - Baron Manfred von Richtofen - The infamous, Red Baron.
Eleventh chaser squadron, German air force - The Red Baron's personal squadron, also called Richtofen's flying Circus.

Good day.
Today I write this blog entry not because I want to grace you all with my wisdom and unbelievable style of writing which, it must be admitted is superior to most writers of present day, (but then I have an advantage, my head is larger than that of most of the writes of present day ( pun utterly, totally and fully intended)), but because my rear is frozen to the damn seat and I can't get up to do anything else.

THE CONSTITUTION OF INDIA
This is an excellent book, written 54 years ago by a team of people none of whom were allowed to eat fried stuff simply on account of age, which governs the running of the Indian nation (chee, I wonder why this country works with the efficiency of a constipated toad ). However, those of you who are labouring under the delusion that the constitution is the supreme authority on Indian soil, must be informed that you are bozos, bimbos and idiots with brains of oxen and wits to match. There is, as a matter of fact, a strip of land in the middle of the capital of this nation where the constitution stands null and void, and the word of the sovereign is law. In these eleven or twelve acres of land, the constitution is disrespected , made fun of, trampled over and basically ripped to shreds. This place is, of course, none other that the concentration camp of D.P.S. R.K.Puram. For the really stupid, and other non dipsites, the sovereign (as previously indicated ) of this hell hole, is The Big C (I would have put Big Fat Ugly Git but it takes too long to type). Since time immemorial this evil has plagued the above mentioned land and brought nothing but misery to it's people. Rights that have been promised to these people, she has denied. A full accounts of her crimes can not be published here, simply because it would constitute too many thousands of gigabytes. Some of her maniacal ideas are worthy of George Bush. There seems to exist this ideology in her supremely demented brain which professes that the golden rule to life is " When in doubt, suspend a student. If that doesn't work scold the closest junior person to death". Right to life and personal liberty occupy as much space in her rat infested head as much as Mridul Kohli, when he sits next to me in our bus. She had recently had the entire, and I mean entire class 12 held in school, against their will, until their parents came to restore liberty to these poor souls. Also, she has finally declared open war against the right to freedom pf movement, and the right to choice, both of whom she had been attempting to suppress for a long time. We are not ALLOWED to take a day off without producing a medical certificate. If we violate, the class teachers have been instructed to call our parents to shool in order to meet with big C. This is tyranny, we can't even take a day off from this hellhole. In the name of all that's holy, whatever happened to mercy?? I mean Gengis Khan didn't do this sort of thing, all he did was boil people to death, not something this evil !!
Now, the people of the free world will obviously be much alarmed by this narrative, and will, with good reason, see that there is yet another Hitler in the rising. People of the world, do not fret, the resistance still holds. I think I can safely say that I speak for all dipsites when I say that, in the name of freedom and the maintenance of civilized society, we shall hold the line against big C. The resistance can not, shall not and will not waver, whatever the costs. We do this because it is our duty and also because we know that WE WILL BE REMEMBERED.

Something so great and overbearing happened today that it deserves entry into these annals. Apoorva Karan Rai ( hereinafter called Kuhrazeeman) actually wore a blazer!!! (This will make sense only to those who know him.)
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE !!!

P.S. - CAS still here (aaarrrgggghh !!! ). School got a trophy the size of a bullet proof jacket custom made for a sumo wrestler for winning Code Wars 2003. Hurrah. For further details click here.

Good day.
The Supreme and Exalted leader of the Klan has return to amaze, enchant and mesmarise you with his unparallel feats of writing.
If anyone of you thinks that I have a bloated head and think too much of myself, and wish to do something about it, please follow the following procedure--

1. Sit down with a pen and a piece of paper.

2. Write down your grievance trying to be as polite as possible.

3. Making the piece as short as possible, sign, with your name in capitals under the signature.

4. Kindly fold the paper in half, and subsequently into fourths, the more folds the better.

5. Now get up from your seat and close all possible means of entry into you room.

6. Remove whatever it is that you are wearing to cover your Gludious maximus.

7. Take the piece of paper and, with all the strength you can muster, push (shove) it up the large aperture between the two large muscular lobes locates at the rear of your pelvis.

* In case you can't find the aperture, visit your physician immediately.

However, this was not the real reason for which I have committed kilobytes to internet (as opposed to ink to paper). The real reason is that I have, very recently, enlisted (more like, have been forced to enlist) the sevices of one of the most fine telecommunications company in the grand city that is New Delhi. I speak, of course, of the MTNL. Now, it is my belief, that nothing in the known universe can teach one the misgivings and ironically the virtues of patience as an encounter with the telecommunications Engineer (the guy who comes to fix your telly). For the uninitiated a telecommunications Engineer is a creature employed by The Government of India.
Here is a short summary of this beast --

Scientific name - Snorous bigspecsus

Habitat - Large brick cuboids which it adorns with every known type of regurgitate beetel leaf (paan), wires, empty tea cups, and logs which are so ancient that their first few entries are written in hieroglyphs. Also referred to as the MTNL regional office.

Physical description - Most often large with three or four stomachs. This creature has peculiar reddish brown teeth, often infested with every known type of bacterium. This s not an uncommon trait in the animal kingdom, and is best exemplifies by the Komodo Dragon (a lizard, of sorts). Chews the cud but only in the case of Paan Masala, a regional delicacy. Has weak eyesight and is often found to use two to three inch glass slabs to rectify this. This glass also protects it from being shot in the eye
as it can, it is believed, withstand a three and a half inch, two to three mm, magnum shot. Known to produce gas at an industrial scale.

* This creature appears to be a distant relative of man, having branched out at the time of Homo erectus.

Well as the ceature is easily lured with the promise of easy money, getting him to our house was no trouble. As soon as it saw the phone, however is swore that there was nothing wrong with it. It took me all of fifteen minutes to convince him there was no dialtone. This, I thought, was enough and I went back to Thermodynamics. Two hours tick by and this infernal imbecile returns and tells me that he is now definitely, positively, certainly and utterly certain that nothing is wrong.
I can not overstate the amount of self restraint I had to subject myself to, in order to make this overgrown piece of trash can undergrowth understand that there was definitely a problem as there was no dialtone. Upon realising this, he promptly whipped out a mobile phone and began producing sounds comparable to human speech, but at decible levels, upon hearing which, it would have been justified if our neighbours had called the cops on us.
However I did, after much effort get at least one phone in working order today.
Hallelujah.
Delhi is a real cool city. REAL cool. Get the drift??
The fog Gods have finally decided that time has come to give the city some of their old medicine.
So much for flying in and out of this place.

Big C and her evil accomplices are still at it, trampling over the constitution, and making our lives unduly hard and deriving pleasure from it. They are also robbing us blind.
Some idiot defaced our school's AVH's (Audio Visual Hall's) walls. Now she wants each and every student present at the function to pay damages. I mean if she did this on a highway, she'd be arrested --- for Highway Robbery.
Yet we survive ...
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!


P.S. - D.P.S. Vasant Kunj organised Code Wars 2003 recently. For a full account, click here. The Prateek mentioned in this account is NOT Da Reaper.

Good day.
The Supreme and Exalted leader of the Klan has again taken keyboard under palm (as opposed to pen in hand) and you are blessed for you may read the wisdom that issues forth from his hand.
Returning from the twisted wastes that constitute my brain and my ego, the real reason I am typing this entry is a most amusing conversation that I had the singular misfortune of being the lone observer of. It is my belief that I should give a fuller account of the two people between whom this conversation ensued. One happens to be my computer teacher, who enjoys squashing mice with her feet. I am not kidding. I have it from no less than her own mouth, that she had the singular pleasure of being inside a room which she could not immediately exit. Upon then sighting the unfortunate rodent in question, she proceeded to stomp at it till the mouse breathed it's last. Now, I must tell you that this particular teacher (though a very friendly creature by all rights) has a very large bearing on the speed of the earth's rotation, so we can be sure that the mouse suffered. So the next time you get extra homework and think how cruel, obstinate and unthinking your teacher can be, please remember that at least you do not have to deal with heartless, rodent murdering females.
But, not digressing from the topic at hand, the other member of this unbelievably pointless convesation was a friend of ine, who, hereinafter, shall be referred to as Da Geek. He is the biggest bug lovers (computer bugs, not organic ones) that I have ever had the supreme misfortune to meet. He enjoys looking for bugs in OSs &c. and then writing endlessly about them in some geeko-Prussian dialect which, in parts, seems to resemble the English language.
The conversation itself began when our teacher finally decided to continue teaching us, and began to preach to the undividedly attentive class, strings and their use in C++. Now, we got to a part where she told us that cin>>string; would not work well as the input would terminate on encountering a space. The ensuing conversation was thus --

Da Geek : It's a BUG. Hallelujah, God save me for saying it but I sit here and, in the name of all that's holy, do swear it's a bug.

Teacher : It is not a BUG. A limitation maybe but a bug ...

Da Geek : It's a BUG.

Teacher : It is not a BUG.

Da Geek :NIIT brainwashed you, your opinion cannot count.

At this point the both stated a bunch of computer mumbo jumbo, at which point this sundry instrument between my ears that I hold to be a brain, completely switched off. But from what I did gather they were aruing about the difference between a bug and a limitation.For crying out loud WHO GIVES A GOD DAMN RAT'S GLUDIOUS MAXIMUS??
You can understand my plight. A Geek and a computer teacher, I'll take the rock and the hard place thank you very much.
Further more, the CAS situation in Delhi isn't any better. We are still subject to torture through bad,bad sitcoms, and even worse, (horror of all horrors) Hindi soaps. God save us.
Big C is up to her old tricks, but we are managing to survive.
Till next time, cheerio.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!

P.S. - Obviously, the above narrative is severely overstated. For a less sensationalised though more biased version click here (Da Geek's Blog).You may also do so if you are interested in Bugs in iPods and Mac OSs and such like.
Gludious maximus - Two large muscular lobes located at the posterior of the human pelvic girdle.
Apology Notice --The above statements are completely devoid of any malacious intent. It is to be noted that the writer is a two hundred pound person with am more-than-generously lined waist, so his comments pertaining to anybody's mass are more of an irony than anything else.

Good day.
I am Azgez Bloodfist, Supreme and Exalted leader, commander and convener of the prestegeous Bloodfist Klan.
Let me explain to you the main features of my Klan.
1. It doesn't exist.
2. It is a figment of my imagination.
3. No, you can't join.
Now, if you have gotten this far, you either play chess (which explains your patience) or you know me and are doing this purely out of politeness.
If neither is the case, man (or, for all those ladies who were gonna write me mails telling me I'm a chauvanistic pig, woman), you need a life.
Imporant notice for those who plan to return, I AM NOT A COMPUTER GEEK(no offence to all the geeks out there). I cannot under any circumstance be expected to write entries with superior sounding crap about new OS, software, hardware, daywear, nightwear, underwear or for that matter any other type of ware (or wear) released by microsoft, sun, moon, apple, orange, banana, grapefruit, mango, pineapple or whoever.
FOR FUTURE REFRENCE:
I have provided below a list of my views on some things that have great bearing on any snide(or otherwise) references I my make in following updates of this log.

1. George W. Bush - Idiot, loser, maniac, madman etc. Get the drift?

2. Rocket scientist - Very smart person(duh).

3. Myself - Fat person.

4. Garfield - Greatest cartoon character ever (my idol).

5. Conditional Access System in South Delhi - Waste of time, undue torture and cruel & unusual punishment for the law abiding citizens of the great nation that is India.

6. The sense of taste - God's gift to humanity.

7. Chocolate - Man's greatest creation.

8. The Microwave Oven - It's closest competitor.


9. Greatest evil in the world - The big C (Only those who have had the dubious pleasure of having studied in D.P.S. R.K.Puram in the last 12 yrs. will understand the last reference)


P.S.-Don't bother to write back, if you have nothing better to do other than read a blog with an address like bldfstblg.blogspot then I want nothing to do with you.

P.S. (the second) -Rejoice people of the world Rejoice. My great and unstoppable powers of deduction tell me that you are probably wondering why I wrote that. Well, today was the birthday of my dear and demented friend, Prateek Choudhary (in future refered to as Da Reaper).
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!