Monday, February 09, 2004
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Good day.
Calm down, calm down. You don’t have to jump up and down in glee just because The Supreme and Exalted Leader of Da Klan has posted another entry. It is uncivil.
It was a most interesting day today. Point to be noted: interesting does not necessarily mean perfect, or even good. Mostly, it’s the opposite. The great Kapil Dev came to school today. He is as all clansmen will know, the first Hero of Da Klan. Great man, excellent cricket player and all round good guy. The tragedy of the matter was that Big C did not let us attend the assembly. Evil, evil I say. But this has given me a chance to explain how the Emergency Guest Receiving System works at school.
1. An announcement on the PAS calling the VPs and Headmistresses to the SFC (strategic forces command i.e. Big C’s room)
2. If students are required Da Mamta is called upon.
3. She in turn calls upon the intercrap club or the S.C.
4. The students scramble.
5. By now it is like, thirty minutes till Showtime. A complex and scientific process involving drawing of lots and flipping coins is used to pick the classes that attend the assembly.
6. Da Mamta puts the best speakers to work, double time, on speeches and questions.
7. About this time the cry of “Man battle stations, to arms, to arms!” issues forth for the SFC and approach is cordoned off by massive columns infantry from the Red Guard (a combined force of intercrap club members, SC members, and other assorted ass kissers).
8. When the VIP arrives he (or she) sees, therefore, a highly censored and mostly fictional version of the school, and naturally leaves it impressed.
It’s flawless.
Da Geek had to be taught how to calculate the remainder in a division. This caused me (and, for that matter, Da Mouse Killer) much distress. He gets these fits of daftness every so often. Later, however, was able to furnish a decent excuse and is therefore pardoned.
It was the math teacher’s turn to do some blitzkrieging of her own. One chapter in 25 minutes. Just like that, no questions asked. Period.
Hope this is not contagious.
It has become blatantly obvious to me that Da Deep One is either incapable of reading, or incapable comprehending, or both. I quite clearly mentioned that the Burrah kebab at Bukhara was good. NOT the meat in general. I can understand it if he disagrees about the Dal Bukhara, I have peculiar taste in dal. As in much else. But such differences are bound to occur between the great and the lowly, and so he too is pardoned.
I can’t go and see LOTR III any more due to an unscheduled trip to Haryana. L Me no happy.
Suraiya, a singer of great fame has recently kicked the proverbial bucket. This has caused Da Lunatic much anguish. He is a fan. For a longer testimonial to the great woman, click here.
Alrighty then,
Cheerio.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!
Calm down, calm down. You don’t have to jump up and down in glee just because The Supreme and Exalted Leader of Da Klan has posted another entry. It is uncivil.
It was a most interesting day today. Point to be noted: interesting does not necessarily mean perfect, or even good. Mostly, it’s the opposite. The great Kapil Dev came to school today. He is as all clansmen will know, the first Hero of Da Klan. Great man, excellent cricket player and all round good guy. The tragedy of the matter was that Big C did not let us attend the assembly. Evil, evil I say. But this has given me a chance to explain how the Emergency Guest Receiving System works at school.
1. An announcement on the PAS calling the VPs and Headmistresses to the SFC (strategic forces command i.e. Big C’s room)
2. If students are required Da Mamta is called upon.
3. She in turn calls upon the intercrap club or the S.C.
4. The students scramble.
5. By now it is like, thirty minutes till Showtime. A complex and scientific process involving drawing of lots and flipping coins is used to pick the classes that attend the assembly.
6. Da Mamta puts the best speakers to work, double time, on speeches and questions.
7. About this time the cry of “Man battle stations, to arms, to arms!” issues forth for the SFC and approach is cordoned off by massive columns infantry from the Red Guard (a combined force of intercrap club members, SC members, and other assorted ass kissers).
8. When the VIP arrives he (or she) sees, therefore, a highly censored and mostly fictional version of the school, and naturally leaves it impressed.
Da Geek had to be taught how to calculate the remainder in a division. This caused me (and, for that matter, Da Mouse Killer) much distress. He gets these fits of daftness every so often. Later, however, was able to furnish a decent excuse and is therefore pardoned.
It was the math teacher’s turn to do some blitzkrieging of her own. One chapter in 25 minutes. Just like that, no questions asked. Period.
Hope this is not contagious.
It has become blatantly obvious to me that Da Deep One is either incapable of reading, or incapable comprehending, or both. I quite clearly mentioned that the Burrah kebab at Bukhara was good. NOT the meat in general. I can understand it if he disagrees about the Dal Bukhara, I have peculiar taste in dal. As in much else. But such differences are bound to occur between the great and the lowly, and so he too is pardoned.
I can’t go and see LOTR III any more due to an unscheduled trip to Haryana. L Me no happy.
Suraiya, a singer of great fame has recently kicked the proverbial bucket. This has caused Da Lunatic much anguish. He is a fan. For a longer testimonial to the great woman, click here.
Alrighty then,
Cheerio.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Good day.
The Ailuropoda melanoleuca is an interesting creation of Mother Nature’s. It is an extremely large mammal (no, I am not talking about myself), which is mostly black but sometimes (usually in parts) white (no, I am not talking about Michael Jackson). Most of you will know it as the ‘Big hairy dude on the nature lover guy’s card’. Some of you, who know more than is good for you, will know it as The Giant Panda. Now, it is wrongly believed that pandas are a species is confined to The People’s Republic of China and the Tibetan plateau. In fact, there are pandas in our West Bengal. I met one of them today at that sorry excuse for a torture chamber that is my school. This particular one is the mascot for Exun and is usually given the prefix ‘Ze’ as a badge of honor. All interact members and directors, Pakistanis, George Bush like creatures and other assorted birdbrains reading this will note that the Panda in question is, as is obvious, not a four legged member of the bear family but a human being. His blog (along with Da Geek’s is) the one that started the whole blogging thing with me, so you realize it is actually entirely his fault.
We went to Bukhara yesterday, and I left it quite impressed. The barrah / burrah kebabs were top of the line (though not quite as good as Karim’s) and the ‘Dal Bukhara’ is, in my opinion quite exquisite. Note how I use ‘ In my opinion’ so Da Deep One can’t go around raising all hell about how I have no sense of taste blah blah blah, blah blah blah. The prices are, however, atrocious. They were, in my opinion random numbers picked by some equally random moron. One thing that boggles the mind however, is that these numbers never receded below 675/- (plus tax) in the non-vegetarian section. It is well that they are not located next to a highway or they’d be arrested- for highway robbery (bad, bad joke).
We had chemistry today. It was BAD. Da Banshee, as Da Geek likes to call her, was in blitzkrieg mode today. No, she was not flying around the class pelting us with chalks, but teaching at a pace comparable to that of the advancing columns of the first panzer at the beginning of WWII.
It is a widely acclaimed fact that the mechanics (both the quantum and the physical) of physics do not, have not, and therefore will not apply to the DPSian dimensions of this universe. There fore I The Supreme and Exalted leader of Da Klan have devised the Azgezite Mechanics to explain the happenings in these strange dimensions. In all fairness though, it must be said that Da Geek (on Tuesday, February 03, 2004) has laid down the basic principles that lead these scientific discoveries. The principles, en brief are:
1. Law of Conservation of Misery: Da Geek’s Law of Conservation of Misery states that the total amount of misery in a closed system always remains constant. Misery can only be transferred from one person to another person/medium. It can be created but cannot be destroyed.
2. Emotional Mathematics: It has one basic theorem. If your state of mind is negative, and a positive event occurs in your life, then you feel happier than you would, had you been in a positive state of mind.
There is another rule, which, though it is the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT rule of the Azgezite mechanics is only mentioned as a footnote in the annals of Da Geek’s blog.
This is of course the first of the Grand Truths of Da Klan.
Pessimism RULES.
The Moment of Dementia: Comparable to The Moment of Inertia in rotational mechanics, this is a measure how bad your head is spinning after one of those notoriously bad classes.
MoD is proportional to length of class, inversely proportional to number of interruptions and directly proportional to difficulty of topic.
MoD = k*[(length of class* difficulty of topic)/(number of interruptions)]
K is the teacher’s constant. Lower the value of ‘K’ better is the teaching, and lower the MoD. Subject has no effect on K whatsoever. People like Da Mouse Killer (who, by the way, has been making slanderous comments about this exquisite journal in front of His Airiness, Sir Altitude and Da Geek) have a very low ‘K’ (one one thousandth or less), while people like He Who Hath Big Black Mole On Face have ‘K’ values in the millions. ‘K’ changes with time.
That is quite enough for today. You will be duly informed of any new discoveries in this field.
Cheerio.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!
The Ailuropoda melanoleuca is an interesting creation of Mother Nature’s. It is an extremely large mammal (no, I am not talking about myself), which is mostly black but sometimes (usually in parts) white (no, I am not talking about Michael Jackson). Most of you will know it as the ‘Big hairy dude on the nature lover guy’s card’. Some of you, who know more than is good for you, will know it as The Giant Panda. Now, it is wrongly believed that pandas are a species is confined to The People’s Republic of China and the Tibetan plateau. In fact, there are pandas in our West Bengal. I met one of them today at that sorry excuse for a torture chamber that is my school. This particular one is the mascot for Exun and is usually given the prefix ‘Ze’ as a badge of honor. All interact members and directors, Pakistanis, George Bush like creatures and other assorted birdbrains reading this will note that the Panda in question is, as is obvious, not a four legged member of the bear family but a human being. His blog (along with Da Geek’s is) the one that started the whole blogging thing with me, so you realize it is actually entirely his fault.
We went to Bukhara yesterday, and I left it quite impressed. The barrah / burrah kebabs were top of the line (though not quite as good as Karim’s) and the ‘Dal Bukhara’ is, in my opinion quite exquisite. Note how I use ‘ In my opinion’ so Da Deep One can’t go around raising all hell about how I have no sense of taste blah blah blah, blah blah blah. The prices are, however, atrocious. They were, in my opinion random numbers picked by some equally random moron. One thing that boggles the mind however, is that these numbers never receded below 675/- (plus tax) in the non-vegetarian section. It is well that they are not located next to a highway or they’d be arrested- for highway robbery (bad, bad joke).
We had chemistry today. It was BAD. Da Banshee, as Da Geek likes to call her, was in blitzkrieg mode today. No, she was not flying around the class pelting us with chalks, but teaching at a pace comparable to that of the advancing columns of the first panzer at the beginning of WWII.
It is a widely acclaimed fact that the mechanics (both the quantum and the physical) of physics do not, have not, and therefore will not apply to the DPSian dimensions of this universe. There fore I The Supreme and Exalted leader of Da Klan have devised the Azgezite Mechanics to explain the happenings in these strange dimensions. In all fairness though, it must be said that Da Geek (on Tuesday, February 03, 2004) has laid down the basic principles that lead these scientific discoveries. The principles, en brief are:
1. Law of Conservation of Misery: Da Geek’s Law of Conservation of Misery states that the total amount of misery in a closed system always remains constant. Misery can only be transferred from one person to another person/medium. It can be created but cannot be destroyed.
2. Emotional Mathematics: It has one basic theorem. If your state of mind is negative, and a positive event occurs in your life, then you feel happier than you would, had you been in a positive state of mind.
There is another rule, which, though it is the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT rule of the Azgezite mechanics is only mentioned as a footnote in the annals of Da Geek’s blog.
This is of course the first of the Grand Truths of Da Klan.
The Moment of Dementia: Comparable to The Moment of Inertia in rotational mechanics, this is a measure how bad your head is spinning after one of those notoriously bad classes.
MoD is proportional to length of class, inversely proportional to number of interruptions and directly proportional to difficulty of topic.
MoD = k*[(length of class* difficulty of topic)/(number of interruptions)]
K is the teacher’s constant. Lower the value of ‘K’ better is the teaching, and lower the MoD. Subject has no effect on K whatsoever. People like Da Mouse Killer (who, by the way, has been making slanderous comments about this exquisite journal in front of His Airiness, Sir Altitude and Da Geek) have a very low ‘K’ (one one thousandth or less), while people like He Who Hath Big Black Mole On Face have ‘K’ values in the millions. ‘K’ changes with time.
That is quite enough for today. You will be duly informed of any new discoveries in this field.
Cheerio.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!
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