Good day.
The Supreme and Exalted leader of the Klan has return to amaze, enchant and mesmarise you with his unparallel feats of writing.
If anyone of you thinks that I have a bloated head and think too much of myself, and wish to do something about it, please follow the following procedure--

1. Sit down with a pen and a piece of paper.

2. Write down your grievance trying to be as polite as possible.

3. Making the piece as short as possible, sign, with your name in capitals under the signature.

4. Kindly fold the paper in half, and subsequently into fourths, the more folds the better.

5. Now get up from your seat and close all possible means of entry into you room.

6. Remove whatever it is that you are wearing to cover your Gludious maximus.

7. Take the piece of paper and, with all the strength you can muster, push (shove) it up the large aperture between the two large muscular lobes locates at the rear of your pelvis.

* In case you can't find the aperture, visit your physician immediately.

However, this was not the real reason for which I have committed kilobytes to internet (as opposed to ink to paper). The real reason is that I have, very recently, enlisted (more like, have been forced to enlist) the sevices of one of the most fine telecommunications company in the grand city that is New Delhi. I speak, of course, of the MTNL. Now, it is my belief, that nothing in the known universe can teach one the misgivings and ironically the virtues of patience as an encounter with the telecommunications Engineer (the guy who comes to fix your telly). For the uninitiated a telecommunications Engineer is a creature employed by The Government of India.
Here is a short summary of this beast --

Scientific name - Snorous bigspecsus

Habitat - Large brick cuboids which it adorns with every known type of regurgitate beetel leaf (paan), wires, empty tea cups, and logs which are so ancient that their first few entries are written in hieroglyphs. Also referred to as the MTNL regional office.

Physical description - Most often large with three or four stomachs. This creature has peculiar reddish brown teeth, often infested with every known type of bacterium. This s not an uncommon trait in the animal kingdom, and is best exemplifies by the Komodo Dragon (a lizard, of sorts). Chews the cud but only in the case of Paan Masala, a regional delicacy. Has weak eyesight and is often found to use two to three inch glass slabs to rectify this. This glass also protects it from being shot in the eye
as it can, it is believed, withstand a three and a half inch, two to three mm, magnum shot. Known to produce gas at an industrial scale.

* This creature appears to be a distant relative of man, having branched out at the time of Homo erectus.

Well as the ceature is easily lured with the promise of easy money, getting him to our house was no trouble. As soon as it saw the phone, however is swore that there was nothing wrong with it. It took me all of fifteen minutes to convince him there was no dialtone. This, I thought, was enough and I went back to Thermodynamics. Two hours tick by and this infernal imbecile returns and tells me that he is now definitely, positively, certainly and utterly certain that nothing is wrong.
I can not overstate the amount of self restraint I had to subject myself to, in order to make this overgrown piece of trash can undergrowth understand that there was definitely a problem as there was no dialtone. Upon realising this, he promptly whipped out a mobile phone and began producing sounds comparable to human speech, but at decible levels, upon hearing which, it would have been justified if our neighbours had called the cops on us.
However I did, after much effort get at least one phone in working order today.
Hallelujah.
Delhi is a real cool city. REAL cool. Get the drift??
The fog Gods have finally decided that time has come to give the city some of their old medicine.
So much for flying in and out of this place.

Big C and her evil accomplices are still at it, trampling over the constitution, and making our lives unduly hard and deriving pleasure from it. They are also robbing us blind.
Some idiot defaced our school's AVH's (Audio Visual Hall's) walls. Now she wants each and every student present at the function to pay damages. I mean if she did this on a highway, she'd be arrested --- for Highway Robbery.
Yet we survive ...
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!


P.S. - D.P.S. Vasant Kunj organised Code Wars 2003 recently. For a full account, click here. The Prateek mentioned in this account is NOT Da Reaper.