Good day.
It was a wise man who said that the fruit of patience is oft the sweetest. Wise men, by virtue of being wise, are usually correct. So was he. This is best proved right now, when your patience is finally rewarded. Two days I have made you wait, and therefore sweetened your reward, no thanks are necessary. It is after all the duty of us, the higher mortals, to spicen up your lives every so often.
Now, to the point.
The Interact Club
This institution is one of the many prides and joys of the collection of torture chambers that is my school. It so happens that this useless collection of dimwits and creatures that are not fit to wipe the slime off a snail’s underbelly was the brainchild of the one they call The Big C. Now, this alone should be enough to tell you all that I intend to type. Unfortunately, my great learning tells me that there are some of you out there who have brain levels comparable to those of some of the directors of this sorry excuse for a collection of human beings. I will, therefore, elaborate. The club has one president, probably the only singularly occupied post in the club (saving, perhaps vice-president and treasurer). There has always been, at least in my mind, serious doubt as to the gender of this particular individual. He has to be a bit off his rocker, as he has accepted his office, but I honestly think that this is not the only thing wrong with him. Not that I bear a grudge or anything, hell, I hardly know the fellow. But one has one’s doubts …
This club seems chiefly to be constituted of directors, and the number of actual members appears to be less than the number of directors. Most, though perhaps not all, of these bird brained creatures happen to have IQs comparable to values returned by the randomize function in C++ (between 0 and 1, for non computer students). They should be hanged by the dozen (for there are dozens of them) if you ask me. They are incapable of printing out a simple Excel spreadsheet. A task which even that HOD of the Hindi department is capable of performing. I mean, how totally stupid do you have to be? They climbed up three floors to call Da Geek to get the printout. This, in the 21st century.
However, the greatest stupidity of the authorities when they were handing out commissions was their choice of treasurer. There are five and a half billion people in this world. They chose the one person of these five and a half billion who, under no circumstances, should be made in charge of money. Especially someone else’s money. The person in question is, of course, Da Tall Dark And Decomposing One (Prateek Chadha). Giving him all your money, and letting him handle the accounts. LUNACY, LUNACY I SAY.
The members of this club include Da Lunatic. I rest my case. I am sure that Da Deep One agrees.
The weather is not exactly the epitome of an English summer nowadays; rain and cold do NOT mix well. It is positively frigid, and that bugs me no end.
Our school’s site has recently been hacked by some Pakis, for this I am eternally grateful to the Pakis, as they have added another headache to Ha Who Hath Big Black Mole On Face’s steadily increasing migraine. God bless you, God save you.
I have recently acquired Photoshop (7.0, not CS). This is not a professional opinion, but I like it.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!
Friday, January 30, 2004
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Good day.
First of all, I feel that some response to certain malicious comments made by Da Deep One is in order. To begin with, I do not claim, and never have claimed, to be an expert in the field of chocolate tasting. I do, however, claim to be an expert in the art of chocolate consumption . The point is, I do not give a dead rat’s dead ass about where the chocolate originates from, so long as I know that it’s ultimate destination is my digestive system. Furthermore, I do not know who it was that told that sorry excuse for a Buddha that I like Hershey’s Kisses because it sure as hell wasn’t me. Those things do not in my opinion qualify as chocolate, for the simple reason that they do not contain any chocolate, simply sweetened milk. Now, I do not have anything against The Hershey’s Food Corp., which also makes decent chocolate, and this fact was probably the cause of the confusion. The following is my personal method for telling between good and bad chocolate –
1) Carefully read the wrapper, and find out where the piece is produced.
2) Forget this information immediately.
3) Consume the entire bar.
4) If you like it, it’s good, otherwise it’s not.
5) If Da Deep One comes over to give his “specialist” opinion, tell him he can go screw himself.
He can do so if he is reading this right now.
I hereby declare the owner of HOME CABLE to be A Hero of the Klan . He has, in spite of CAS, allowed us the pleasure of Star World. Long may he live. Da Geek, it should be mentioned, does NOT get home cable (:-D).
We went to see a very horrid reenactment of The Merchant of Venice. It was a disastrous as it was, but the pirated CD made it worse. The visuals were not in sync with the audio, so Portia was speaking but Shylock was moving his mouth. It was quite funny, but it ruined the whole “… shall we not revenge” dialogue of Shylock’s (yes, the apostrophe is correctly placed). Sacrilege. Da Geek is getting very perverted nowadays, and it was he who, in the middle of the play, pointed out to me that Jessica’s dress was slipping in the front. It wasn’t, it was just a low cut, which partially exposed the top of her (.)(.)s. Disgusting.
Da Geek was mucho impressed with Halo today, but then, as I have been known to say, you lower mortals are easily impressed.
I plan to charge Da Geek with copyleft infringement. He has no shame, and wantonly uses my brilliant expression in his own blog (which, by the way, you should read if you don’t already). No offence to Da Geek you understand.
’Till next time,
Cheerio.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE !!!
P.S. – I planned to write on the Interact Club today, but now I think that that will be too much for your sorry brains to process, so I think I’ll do it tomorrow.
First of all, I feel that some response to certain malicious comments made by Da Deep One is in order. To begin with, I do not claim, and never have claimed, to be an expert in the field of chocolate tasting. I do, however, claim to be an expert in the art of chocolate consumption . The point is, I do not give a dead rat’s dead ass about where the chocolate originates from, so long as I know that it’s ultimate destination is my digestive system. Furthermore, I do not know who it was that told that sorry excuse for a Buddha that I like Hershey’s Kisses because it sure as hell wasn’t me. Those things do not in my opinion qualify as chocolate, for the simple reason that they do not contain any chocolate, simply sweetened milk. Now, I do not have anything against The Hershey’s Food Corp., which also makes decent chocolate, and this fact was probably the cause of the confusion. The following is my personal method for telling between good and bad chocolate –
1) Carefully read the wrapper, and find out where the piece is produced.
2) Forget this information immediately.
3) Consume the entire bar.
4) If you like it, it’s good, otherwise it’s not.
5) If Da Deep One comes over to give his “specialist” opinion, tell him he can go screw himself.
He can do so if he is reading this right now.
I hereby declare the owner of HOME CABLE to be A Hero of the Klan . He has, in spite of CAS, allowed us the pleasure of Star World. Long may he live. Da Geek, it should be mentioned, does NOT get home cable (:-D).
We went to see a very horrid reenactment of The Merchant of Venice. It was a disastrous as it was, but the pirated CD made it worse. The visuals were not in sync with the audio, so Portia was speaking but Shylock was moving his mouth. It was quite funny, but it ruined the whole “… shall we not revenge” dialogue of Shylock’s (yes, the apostrophe is correctly placed). Sacrilege. Da Geek is getting very perverted nowadays, and it was he who, in the middle of the play, pointed out to me that Jessica’s dress was slipping in the front. It wasn’t, it was just a low cut, which partially exposed the top of her (.)(.)s. Disgusting.
Da Geek was mucho impressed with Halo today, but then, as I have been known to say, you lower mortals are easily impressed.
I plan to charge Da Geek with copyleft infringement. He has no shame, and wantonly uses my brilliant expression in his own blog (which, by the way, you should read if you don’t already). No offence to Da Geek you understand.
’Till next time,
Cheerio.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE !!!
P.S. – I planned to write on the Interact Club today, but now I think that that will be too much for your sorry brains to process, so I think I’ll do it tomorrow.
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Good day.
I dislike blogging on holidays. Well, actually, I dislike sitting up on holidays. All of you dregs of humanity will, therefore, appreciate the amount of resolve going into this entry. Had yesterday not been such a perfect day, I would not have bothered.
The fun started yesterday when my dad got his Skoda back (it had been in the garage for the last two weeks). That man should not be trusted with a lawn mower engine, so putting him behind a 2.0 liter Czechoslovakian monster is a major no-no. Now when we are on New Delhi roads it all fine and dandy, but when you put him on the DND flyway (which, by the way, is like 500 mts. from my house) it is a downright blasphemy. Notice how blasphemy and blast for me are strikingly similar terms. You get the point. As he had got the car back, it was only natural that we go for a drive. So we did. He got on the flyway, revved the engine, and FUHLOORED (floored) it. Now, if you have ever been in the passenger seat of a vehicle being propelled forward at 120-150 Km/h due to a newly serviced 66 kW engine pumping out 16.8 Kg m of torque, you would know that it is by no means an exercise recommended for heart patients.
I have also made a great scientific discovery yesterday. I have found, in the middle of Nizamuddin, a piece of land (more than a square inch in area) that is not covered by half a foot of filth. The amazing part of it is that place is like 500 mts. from the railway station (which, by the way, in my opinion doubles as a municipal dump). The place in question is a food court by the name of Comesum. The food is shit good and dirt-cheap. Now, when someone describes a food court using ‘shit’ and ‘dirt’ as adjectives, people don’t usually go there. You should.
My sister took the Aryabhatta exam yesterday, I helped her prepare. You can stop feeling sad for her now. Hope she does well.
Alrighty then. Buh-bye now.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE !!!
P.S. - Da Geek's blog seems to be down, which deprives the net of one of the world's greatest Mac fans. He has promised to write a review of this Journal as soon as it gets up and running. I hope, for his sake, that it is a good one.
I dislike blogging on holidays. Well, actually, I dislike sitting up on holidays. All of you dregs of humanity will, therefore, appreciate the amount of resolve going into this entry. Had yesterday not been such a perfect day, I would not have bothered.
The fun started yesterday when my dad got his Skoda back (it had been in the garage for the last two weeks). That man should not be trusted with a lawn mower engine, so putting him behind a 2.0 liter Czechoslovakian monster is a major no-no. Now when we are on New Delhi roads it all fine and dandy, but when you put him on the DND flyway (which, by the way, is like 500 mts. from my house) it is a downright blasphemy. Notice how blasphemy and blast for me are strikingly similar terms. You get the point. As he had got the car back, it was only natural that we go for a drive. So we did. He got on the flyway, revved the engine, and FUHLOORED (floored) it. Now, if you have ever been in the passenger seat of a vehicle being propelled forward at 120-150 Km/h due to a newly serviced 66 kW engine pumping out 16.8 Kg m of torque, you would know that it is by no means an exercise recommended for heart patients.
I have also made a great scientific discovery yesterday. I have found, in the middle of Nizamuddin, a piece of land (more than a square inch in area) that is not covered by half a foot of filth. The amazing part of it is that place is like 500 mts. from the railway station (which, by the way, in my opinion doubles as a municipal dump). The place in question is a food court by the name of Comesum. The food is shit good and dirt-cheap. Now, when someone describes a food court using ‘shit’ and ‘dirt’ as adjectives, people don’t usually go there. You should.
My sister took the Aryabhatta exam yesterday, I helped her prepare. You can stop feeling sad for her now. Hope she does well.
Alrighty then. Buh-bye now.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE !!!
P.S. - Da Geek's blog seems to be down, which deprives the net of one of the world's greatest Mac fans. He has promised to write a review of this Journal as soon as it gets up and running. I hope, for his sake, that it is a good one.
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Good day.
It is that time of the day again when all you dregs of humanity take a blissful, though temporary, break from that mundane series of pointless happenings that you all like to call lives and enter into the mysterious and exciting universe that is my imagination.
There exists a creature in this universe which has a vaguely human appearance but is as different in mental faculty from the Homo sapien as peas are from potatoes. He is the one they call Da Lunatic (referred to in civil society as 'Manav Kapur'). He has, entombed in his head, the most perverted mind in existence today, and though no particular incident has recently occurred in connection to him, no journal of mine is complete without due reference to him.
Da Geek has prepared, on the advice of His Airiness, Sir Altitude, what was generally accepted as a really cool front page for the Exun section of the dips diary. It consisted of a funny white computer with a number behind it. You lower mortals are so easily impressed.
The school's interact club has, apparently, some painfully slow directors, who are incapable of printing out an Excel worksheet. They came up all the way to the class to get Da Geek to do it for them. According to the Indian Biological Association, this would put their brain size somewhere between that of a pea and a Light Emitting Diode. Now, if you have ever seen either a pea or a Light Emitting Diode, you would know that I'm not paying them a complement.
Their coming did cause some mirth in class though, when the physics teacher burtled out " You had better go Karan (Da Geek), they look desperate". Now the average dipsite's mind is a very perverted thing. Things like this accelerate thoughts in it like a V8 engine accelerates a car. Da Geek, therefore, left the class in a peculiar shade of magenta. For a fuller account of what happened next, and the basic principle of electronics, visit Da Geek's blog.
In my opinion, both Adam Gilchrist and He Who Hath Big Black Mole On Face (M.B.I.H.P.S.)(with whom Da Lunatic has recently had a hilarious run-in) should get the Olive Press Treatment (only close friends shall understand this).
We have finalised the movie thingy. Kuhrazeemann almost made the gargantuan error of offering to buy me lunch that day. Talk about raving mad ...
That's it then, Cheerio.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE !!!
P.S. - Khan Abdul Gaffar Khan was a great man. I hereby declare him an Idol Of The Klan.
M.B.I.H.P.S. - May barbarians invade his personal space.
It is that time of the day again when all you dregs of humanity take a blissful, though temporary, break from that mundane series of pointless happenings that you all like to call lives and enter into the mysterious and exciting universe that is my imagination.
There exists a creature in this universe which has a vaguely human appearance but is as different in mental faculty from the Homo sapien as peas are from potatoes. He is the one they call Da Lunatic (referred to in civil society as 'Manav Kapur'). He has, entombed in his head, the most perverted mind in existence today, and though no particular incident has recently occurred in connection to him, no journal of mine is complete without due reference to him.
Da Geek has prepared, on the advice of His Airiness, Sir Altitude, what was generally accepted as a really cool front page for the Exun section of the dips diary. It consisted of a funny white computer with a number behind it. You lower mortals are so easily impressed.
The school's interact club has, apparently, some painfully slow directors, who are incapable of printing out an Excel worksheet. They came up all the way to the class to get Da Geek to do it for them. According to the Indian Biological Association, this would put their brain size somewhere between that of a pea and a Light Emitting Diode. Now, if you have ever seen either a pea or a Light Emitting Diode, you would know that I'm not paying them a complement.
Their coming did cause some mirth in class though, when the physics teacher burtled out " You had better go Karan (Da Geek), they look desperate". Now the average dipsite's mind is a very perverted thing. Things like this accelerate thoughts in it like a V8 engine accelerates a car. Da Geek, therefore, left the class in a peculiar shade of magenta. For a fuller account of what happened next, and the basic principle of electronics, visit Da Geek's blog.
In my opinion, both Adam Gilchrist and He Who Hath Big Black Mole On Face (M.B.I.H.P.S.)(with whom Da Lunatic has recently had a hilarious run-in) should get the Olive Press Treatment (only close friends shall understand this).
We have finalised the movie thingy. Kuhrazeemann almost made the gargantuan error of offering to buy me lunch that day. Talk about raving mad ...
That's it then, Cheerio.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE !!!
P.S. - Khan Abdul Gaffar Khan was a great man. I hereby declare him an Idol Of The Klan.
M.B.I.H.P.S. - May barbarians invade his personal space.
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