Good day.
The day before yesterday was our annual class picnic. For the stupid, that was the fourteenth day of February 2004. For the incredibly stupid (and members of the intercrap club), that means it was St. Valentine’s Day. Now, if you are dipsites I need not say more. For non-dipsites, here’s the deal: holding a class picnic on St. Valentine’s Day (in DPS) is just about as smart as putting Tri Nitro Toluene in an active centrifuge. Note how that’s bad.
We went to Nehru Park. It’s one of the few places in the city where the admission is free and the ground is not covered in knee-deep cow dung. Unfortunately, playing cricket, football and hockey are strictly forbidden. We, therefore, played ‘rugby’. Nobody (save yours truly) know squat about the game, so we played Aussie Rules. For the uninitiated, this is a game similar to rugby, except for the fact that anything short of murder and assault with baseball bats is perfectly legal. The utter stupidity of my classmates was shown when they made me part of a team (as opposed to me being the team). As if that wasn’t enough, some morons actually joined the opposition. How thick can you get?? I talked to one of the professors at the Indian Anthropological Institute. In his expert opinion, that last act puts their cerebrum size just a little less than that of a snail. Obviously, when The Supreme Commander of the Klan charged for a try (that’s what they call a ‘touchdown’ in rugby, for those who do not know), every one got out of the way. Those that didn’t … well let’s just say they changed their minds as a dragster on pure octane. We had to share the bus with a bunch raving madmen (and women) referred to hereinafter as the Da Screamers (XI-S). The females of that class seemed to be laboring under the delusion that rules of courting in howler monkeys were worked for humans as well. That is the only way I can explain their extreme overuse of the C flat minor during the bus ride. I tell you, some of the frequencies hit by that lot would have been enough to scramble the sonar on an Akula Class submarine. We fixed up a match with Da Screamers, but I had to leave before it got underway, so obviously the morons in my class lost.

Later that day we went to The Great Kabab Factory, which, basically, in heaven for any one who likes his food in quantity and with reasonable quality (not that the food there is reasonable, it’s quite excellent). The server was a bit of an idiot though. The moron had the utter audacity to tell moi that I should not eat too much kabab or I won’t have enough space for the main course. The cheek!! He asked for it, so I gave it to him. The following is what I ate (Urdu names not mentioned due to lack of knowledge).
1. Minced lamb kabab, one.
2. Boneless chicken kababs, two.
3. Chicken legs, two.
4. Burrah kababs, four.
5. Fish kababs, two.
6. Pudina Parathas, four.
7. ‘Dal Factory’, ‘Dal Tadka’, Palak Paneer, one serving a piece.
8. Ulte Tawe ka Paratha, one.
9. Coffee ice cream.
10. Phirni.
It’s an all you can eat restaurant. Yes, I did outdo myself. All non-believers can talk to Da Deep One about one of Da Lunatic’s birthdays. If that does not convince you, contact Mr. and Mrs. Sharma, my parents.

Close serried companies of advancing columns loosed by Da Lunatic punctured Da Geek’s rearguard today. In the very likely event that you understood nothing of what I just wrote, I will explain. Da Lunatic got the very amusing idea of putting a nail up Da Geek’s arse. He is known for acting on his whims. Not very dignified, but very amusing.
Da geek had a close encounter of the MSN kind with my sister. There are only two creatures more irritating than her. Both live in the depths of Mariana’s Trench and are yet to be discovered by humans.
There cannot be a dipsite who does not know what a Monday Test is. No dipsite is a true dipsite unless he has run out of Monday Test sheets and found out about this on a Sunday. For all souls in such a plight, Da Geek has put up a MT sheet template download on his blog. That link is also provided on the side bar of this Journal.

Auf Wiedersehen and…
Cheerio.
AZGEZ BLOODFIST WAS HERE!!!